Does a Woman’s High-Status Career Hurt Her Marriage? Not if Her Husband is #MaleEngagement!

In the patriarchal culture that still holds strong in certain layers of Indonesian society, there is often an assumption that in a marriage, the husband “should” have a higher job status than his wife. Consequently, if this norm is violated, the impact is felt more strongly by the wife. 

A message often heard is “You are allowed to work but not have a higher position or salary than your husband.” Norms like these create situations where married women with higher careers tend to be blamed if their household is not harmonious. Ironically, this can lead to domestic violence or the risk of divorce. 

A survey conducted by the Harvard Business Review found that wives who have a higher status than their husbands tend to feel annoyed or embarrassed. They feel that their status is diminished because of the husband’s lower position, which ultimately negatively affects their marriage. 

However, harmony in marriage is not solely the responsibility of one party. This harmony occurs through the cooperation of both husband and wife, not just the burden of one. When husband and wife share roles, it means they both put in equal effort for the sustainability of the family. 

Research results show that receiving genuine support from the husband can prevent the negative impact of the wife’s status anxiety. Therefore, it is important for couples with dual careers to have open and honest conversations about their career ambitions and expectations for mutual support, no matter how uncomfortable those conversations may be. 

What can husbands do as #MaleEngagement to provide real support to their wives? 

1. Share Household Responsibilities: Actively participate in household chores, including taking care of children and parents. 
2. Listen to Her Work Stories: Take time to listen to the experiences and challenges faced by the wife at her workplace.  
3. Provide Advice on Professional Growth: Offer support and constructive advice when the wife desires it. 
4. Respect Her Decisions: Respect the decisions made by the wife regarding her career or personal life. 
5. Empower Her: Ensure that the wife feels supported and empowered to reach her full potential. 

Currently, women with high status can make life choices without being too limited by the fear of financial repercussions. They can play a role as equal partners in the household. 

Reference: 

Does a woman’s high-status career hurt her marriage? Not if her husband does the laundry. (2017, May 2). Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2017/05/does-a-womans-high-status-career-hurt-her-marriage-not-if-her-husband-does-the-laundry