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Photo by Olya Kobruseva
The patriarchal culture that has thickened in Indonesian society gives the view that men are above women. As if men had the privilege of doing whatever they wanted. Based on the analysis conducted by Michael Kaufman, there are seven privileges of men that are detrimental to women and men themselves.
Patriarchal Power
The view that men are above women builds a patriarchal cultural system in Indonesian society. The patriarchal cultural system seems to give men the power to do things, including violence.
This form of violence can be against oneself, such as substance abuse or self-destructive behavior, or against women and those around them, such as harassing, hitting, or molesting.
Privilege
The patriarchal culture also produces privileges for men. Men can do many things while women can’t, such as men can work while women stay at home or men have greater opportunities to become leaders while women still have limited opportunities.
Permissions
Male acts of violence and aggression are celebrated in sports, film, literature, and warfare. Not only is it permitted, but it is also glorified and appreciated so the use of violence is considered the main tool to resolve disputes and differences, whether between individuals, groups, or countries.
For example, men sexually assault women. Then society will focus more on blaming the women rather than catching the men as perpetrators.
The Paradox of Men’s Power
The patriarchal culture that places men as superior figures actually creates a paradox. The expectations about the roles, behaviors, and achievements placed by society on men actually make men very depressed if they fail to meet these expectations.
Failure to meet expectations brings the value of male masculinity into question. Then violence becomes a compensatory mechanism to re-establish masculine balance or assert male power.
For example, a husband loses his job so that he cannot meet the expectations of being the main breadwinner to support the family. The husband felt failed and frustrated. In this emotional state, the husband vented by committing violence against his wife.
The Psychic Armor of Manhood
Violence is also the result of emotional distance. The absence of a father figure involved in parenting also has a negative impact on child development. Boys don’t have role models to hone their empathy and compassion skills. This makes men less able to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
For example, a male leader answered a question from one of the Human Resources team regarding the lack of representation of women in promotions, “they will go on maternity leave or resign, so why promote them?”
Psychic Pressure Cooker
Boys have been taught since childhood to suppress feelings of fear and pain. The various emotions of men are muted and not validated so their emotional development and empathy are a bit hampered. The only emotion that is validated is anger.
When men have emotions that have been suppressed for so long and become out of control, they only have a way of expressing their feelings with anger. It’s like a pressure cooker.
Past Experience
Many boys grow up seeing violent behavior toward girls and women as the norm or way of life to live. Studies have shown that boys and girls who grow up witnessing violence are much more likely to commit violence themselves. So the situation is like a loop.
In order to eliminate this detrimental patriarchal cultural structure, the importance of #LelakiTurutSerta is to create an inclusive and gender-equal environment.
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Tiara Tri Hapsari
